EARLY DISMISSAL AT 1230PM TODAY!
nothing happen much in school.
as usual, LECTURE, BREAK, TUTORIAL!
actually i have already sort of clear my mind already.
For the whole of this year, i have been slacking my way through.
Not getting the foundation right? thinking of all the altnerative to run away from exam.
I totally dont know what exactly im doing but i can truely admit that i have pressure and fear in taking all the JC exam paper! i feel STRESS UP! i have ben trying to adapt to the lecture-tutorial styles, trying to figure out what exactly i want for myself.
i reflected over what mr leow told all the leaders yesterday.
he was saying that during the moderation meeting, all the teachers comment about the leaders are not very good.there are negative comment and that shouldnt be because we are role model.
BUT, have i been displaying role model? he also say that the next year J1 will definitely look up to all the OGL! i have been alway wanting to be an OGL, however, now im holding back. im thinking whether am i up to the standard to be an OGL! AM I A ROLE MODEL? that seriously is a BIG BIG BIG question.
Next, he also state that many of us, leaders have forget our aim and goals for coming to JC! i totally admit what i say. YES! i have lost my way when i step into the life of jc. i have somewhat lose the goal. what exactly i come to jc for? is it purely just to get into uni? i know that its was not the only for me to get into jc? but now, i cant find any reason why am i still sticking my butt into the seat of jc? should i really be here? maybe, its a bit too late for me to actually think of that! but what exactly i want out of this 2 years? still now, im still lose.
should i be studying now for my a level chinese paper where its like happening next monday? im still blogging down here, going to blog! im utterly disappointed in myself! i have let every single one of them down, especially my parents. they spend so much $$$$ trying to give me the best education, trying to help me out by providing me the opportunity of able to take up tuition but in the end? that what i have been doing to them?
not grateful at all to what they have done for me, showing them all this sucky result! wah, i believe "shuyi is the best daughter ever!!" that being scarastic. i think i have never make them prod at all for this entire year. beside spending their hard earned $, i have done nothing, absolutely nothing to pay their hardship. totally tired off from the entire world! not knowing where to go, but aimlessly walking on the edges of the road- falling/ soon to fall? i dont reallly know. i have no more energy to ever contince to fight on with the battle? i still have one more years to go? A long way of journey infront. please god, give me another chance! i will treasure it. to many, talks is simply cheap, i cant gurantee, but i will try. please god, help me! i soldemmly pleading for your help. please.
i think mr leow speech is totally enlighten me. now, its time i shall really pull up my socks and all my weapon to chiong to the end....
CHIONG SHUYI!
LETS JIAYOU,GOGOGOGO SHUYI.
Labels: CHIONG shuyi....