MONDAY, 19OCT09
WENT SHOPPING with
peiqi.
Meet at 130pm.
HEADED DOWN TO CITY
HALL!
Eat sakae for lunch! ate
curry udon. sort of nice
but eat too much then
feel very sick of it.
went to suntec to do
some shopping! got
to buy
shades-cotton on.
but i didnt get
eventually.
stay at cotton on
for quite some
time then head down
to marina square!
peiqi stay at the
zara shop like
SUPER LONG!
but i enjoy the time
shopping with her.
then yanling came!
yeah! so happy
to see her. like never
see her over the
weekend i guess so!
then went to JCO
to buy the doughnut
that my mummy
loves like crazy!
actually, i also
love it like mad!
headed home!
during the journey home, despite its such a short journey but i think a lot of reflections!
i was thinking about a lot of things.
Am i going to drag on with the half-dead, draggy and unpredicted relationship? as in i dont really know if there is any prospectives to it or not! i dont know what should i actually do to really maintain on. i feel that everything that happen this year has never been something good. we started off our relationship at the beginning of this year. we are very sweet in the start. we will meet up after his work for dinner. he will send me home, go out during the weekend, msging and even talk on phone. this sounded like in the dreamland but everything is so sweet and awesome! then this dream of mine started to break off! we begin to be cold to each other. we dont have any fights or etc, just feel drifted away. i have been trying my best to make myself fee; that he's worthwhile for me but it seem like im lying to myself. till now, i exactly dunno what he really want from me! as in i cant predict. i have been trying hard to change all these but nothing seem to work out! then should i really end? i dont know! i also think about other stuff! am i trying to find substitute? im not sure too! i think about the days i step into jc and also the people i met. i have always been trying to adapt to the style of studying! honestly, i think back what kind of person am i? im a very possessive kind of person! i also want everyone! i juz like to go around making friends. i like the feel where everyone stay together but i also like the feel of having a close friends that stand closely by me. im that kind who really want someone that is closer to my heart! everyone can get close to me but who actually are!? actually im once and once again disappointed with myself! as in, i really dunno what i actually want!i have been aimlessly leaving in this world since the start of 2009! everything seem so complex to me. i dont know what people around me are actually thinking! i have been in this situation for long! how i wish that this year faster end, maybe a new year will be generally better to me! honestly, sorry if sometimes i feel that myself are drifting apart but seriously im not. not that i want to do that but i just hesitating. feeling lose for a moment! cant i just stay happy for every moment? why heaven is always trying to find fault out of everything i do!
maybe someone can really guide me out of the path. but i have never stop trying! please be more fair to me even though this world has never been fair at all! those thing that you have given to me, please dont snatch it away. i really want them! i want it to stay with me forever!
Labels: puzzled